my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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