There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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