this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize