the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
