so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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