So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
