Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
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Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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