Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
