Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
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