he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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