just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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