Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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