no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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