Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
