ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
