for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
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I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
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If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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