i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
