apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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