i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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