I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
