he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
