I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize