i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
