So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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