Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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