WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want to be your penis for a week.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
