Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize