I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
