He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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