Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Congratulations! We have a period
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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