the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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