Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
