You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
