haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
