Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i out mim tonsoeep
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