My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
