He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize