Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Michael Bay diarrhea
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
