If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
