If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
