A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
