Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
