i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
