And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize