Pants 0. Shit 1.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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