Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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