Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
