Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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