so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
