I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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