Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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