I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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