We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
