Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
