How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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