He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
