Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
