i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
