no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
