nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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